Three Animal Tales

In the same vein as Panchatantra and Jataka.

While we were on a post lunch walk, I tried explaining the idiom " Hand in the lion's mouth" to a colleague at office. And all because of a couple of stone lions we have on display. Just as I said with great elan" of course this does not refer to stone lions" I yelped. There was a chameleon staring out of the crevice in the stone lion's mouth.
MORAL- Never underestimate a lion, even a stone one.

We were entering the office premises ( in Old Mahabs road- OMR) . The security holds the traffic from the opposite direction, as our massive bus takes the right into our office. So the sign board ( akin to a small TT bat) has "stop" and "proceed" on either side. Only thing today he showed the Red "Stop" to the cattle ambling on the road! Seriously, since when did they learn to read traffic signs?
MORAL- If you want cattle to follow traffic signs, ask yourself first, do I?

Finished Weight Loss- the book- with great difficulty. Read it to know why you should have avoided it.
Have begun The Tender Bar- JR Moehringer - fantastic style and I am sure it is going to be a great read.

Dard

Headaches are not too hard to get rid of.

A dash of hot tea/some amrutanjan or eucalyptus oil, a nature walk- any of these should do.

But if they come in the form of a person you work with what can you do?

Rainydays and Mondays

I am sure at least some of you have heard this song. And if the rainy Monday happens to be accompanied by a review meeting you can only imagine how sad it gets.

This is when I feel I would really rather be staying home with Anush. The standard excuses for it are:
Need to help pay the EMI
What a waste of a degree
Economic independence

It is fear - of a loss of self, a professional identity for myself. And maybe a little bit of all the above.

Why does life have to be about choices, all of which feel like a compromise? At least on rainy days and Mondays.

BTW, Another vaccine (injection) happened for Anush last Saturday. She did not cry at all. A brave girl I have !

Pooped!

Anush has a low stool like potty chair.
Her paati, grandma, was in the kitchen and sat on a low stool.
Anush pointed to the legs of the chair and said " AAY AAY" ( tamil for poop)!!

Kuch to log kahenge

They say comments come unsolicited and generously.

As blogging goes, I do not know about you but, I thrive on comments- positive or otherwise. It is reassuring & sometimes gratifying to know you are not fading into no- reader land.

Does it reflect the number of readers? Not necessarily.
Does it reflect the quality of your post? Maybe not.
But it surely reflects how provoking your post has been.

For example, if you visit a blog, you probably read the most recent post. Maybe it excites you enough to read a few more. You skim through a few more. And you skip a few. But unless a post STIRS something in you, you would refrain from commenting- it should evoke some emotion- empathy/ disgust/ humour/ happiness.

So if you do not post anything new for a long time you should end up with a lot more comments for the post. Maybe yes.

Initially when my cousin, cloudy began her blog- I told her - "Write for yourself" - I was not being completely honest.

Of course I look forward to comments. It does matter when some posts go unnoticed. Here are some instances Save a smile and long ago Paper Boys

There have been posts I have written for myself and got such a warm response. Like Then & Now or The Temptress

So, do I write with a view to evoke comments- NO. That would mean being untrue to myself.
More importantly, I would not know how to go about it. : - )

And when I visit some blogs where posts garner over 50 comments (yes, even after excluding the self comments) , I think " Oh, big deal" and leave mine as the 51st comment.

Lost & Found

I never thought this could happen to some one I know.

Navy's cousin is just an Average Joe. An 18 year old, studying in college, aspires to be a CA and an MBA. Much taller than his height. Very sensible and focussed. His only quirk is he likes to wear junk chains.

He was kidnapped. Near his home, from Bangalore, this Sunday. Yes, his family is well to do but not that high profile. No, he is not into drugs or girls

The police found him yesterday in a hill station. He was in shock and was unaware of what had happened in the interim. He could not state his parents name or his own. The cops found him based on the photo sent out. For them he must have been just another lost & found.

I wonder what the boy went through. Does he even remember? Is it better forgotten? Is it a garb to secure himself? I am not sure how his parents coped those 2 nights. Must have had flash backs of all the good times with the boy, their dreams for him. Their faith must have been so shaken or would it have been reinforced and strengthened- who else can you turn to?

I am sure of one thing though- life will never be the same again for any of them, most of all for the boy.

Tagged- Scenes 9

Tagged by i2w to capture nine of the best movie scenes I have seen and here is my take.

1. Lion King- When Simba's father dies
2. Dil Chaahta hai- the phone call between Saif and Suchitra Pillai
3. Scent of a Woman- The tango
4. Guna- the kanmani- the love letter song- so poignant
5. Chachi 420- Scene when Amrish Puri line maros Kamal Hassan- what comic timing
6. Mixed Doubles- the first few scenes between husband and wife ( Konkana Sen)
7. Life is Beautiful- almost all the scenes
8. True lies- the funny raunchy dance and the questions thereon between Jamie Lee Curtis and Arnold
9. Mr & Mrs Iyer- the very sad scene of the riot and the old couple involved

I tag anyone who wishes to take this up and who loves the movies like I do.

Live to eat - I

Here is a first from me. A recipee for a simple and yummy treat.

Akki Roti

You will need
Rice flour 2 cup
Green chillies 3
Grated coconut 4 tbsp
Channa daal 2 tbsp
Jeera 1 tsp
Coriander few sprigs chopped fine
Onion 2 big ones chopped fine
Water as little as possible
Oil 5 tbsp & for greasing the pan

Make a chapati like dough

Take a small ball of dough and start pressing to the sides of tava until it is even on all the sides (thinner the better)

Roast well till crisp. Serve hot with mint or corriander chutney or a dahi- mango achaar raita

Save a smile!

November is the month for children. Nov 14 was Children's Day. November 19 is the World Day for Prevention of Child Abuse ( WDPCA) to coincide with the World Child's Rights Day on November 20.

Saw a full page advertisement in The Hindu supplement- Young World for the WDPCA. Time to come clean, avoid errors of omission and provide practical tips to our young.This is precisely how the ad was- direct and addressing children, it tells them to note & take charge and not blame themselves or take any shit from anyone. It also spells out what to watch out for.

The term child abuse includes physical, sexual and emotional abuse as well as neglect, violence and exploitation of a child.

It will be time maybe next year, for me to explain such things to Anushka as well. It is the sexual abuse that scares me a lot. I also feel it is tricky to instill a sense of guard without overly becoming paranoid.

A couple of months ago, a mom in the apartment had just explained to her 2 yr old son that he was not to allow anyone to touch his "peepee" and the vicinity. He was to immediately tell the person directly to not do so and to report to his mother as well. Well he did just that - only thing the "culprit" turned outto be his father who was giving him a bath at that time. Poor Dad!

Anyway , do your small bit in recognizing and spreading awareness. So important if you wish to preserve the innocence and dignity of childhood. Beacause all children deserve to smile.

Go here is you wish to know more.

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For those of you who thought I was reading the Forsyth in Anush's hand- no I am reading Weight Loss by Upamanyu Chatterji ( yes the guy who wrote English August) I am yet to decide whether I like it or not. Presently an overdose of sexual fanatsies and that too the premature variety which I find hard to digest.

Just finished Cuckold by Kiran Nagarkar. I highly recommend it . (Was already hooked to this author after God's Little Soldier.) Cuckold is about the Mewar clan and how they fought and loved , largely through the eyes of the crown prince. The love story in it is as interesting as the one of lineage and warfare and neither debilitates the other. It is very contemporary in the issues that it brings up. You can easily replace the royal family with a business one of today. Whether he finds love or not, you will fall in love with the Maharaj Kumar by the end of it.

Forsyth at Fifteen?

Anushka is 15 months old today. 15 things about her -

1. She walks- she even runs. The run looks like a little penguin. She throws her ball and if you fail to respond, she fetches it back herself . She also loves to bounce on people's tummies. The larger the better - you know buoyancy and all
2. Her latest word is "Dook " for book and she relentlessly plods through the same book about 10 times in one go- with poor appa, paati or amma reading out to her. Hope the reading habit stays though.
3. She is able to pick out most of her toys/ dolls by name and thinks putting them back in their place is Fun! Do i feel lucky or what?
4. She is trying hard to sing and tries a lullaby every now and then. She dances and drums her fingers in a thaalam to anything that resembles a song.
5. She kisses her dolls but not us. Only hugs and hi fives for us.
6. Any diya/ candle/ flame is "baba"- her word for God
7. She picks up the phone and play-acts- says appa/ amma/ hi hi hieeeeeeee
8. She more or less sleeps off by herself
9. She devours kai murukku with her five teeth
10. She loves white noise and often turns off the TV
11. She draws lines with chalk/ pens/ crayons anything
12. She is tall for her age, a little less bald than before and still has a wide nose. ( I am told that my SIL had the same and it grew out fine over time- we will see.)
13. She is amma's little helper- supervises garbage disposal and helps place the milk bag out each night
14. When i ask her if she has gone potty in her diaper- she promptly says "na", if she has not. She still refuses to sit on the potty when she needs to- truly shit scared.
15. She still looks best in white

The Temptress

" How many times? I am tired now. " she had said. But he could not help himself. He was just insatiable.

He woke up this morning to her scent. Slightly sweet, wildly provocative, a mind of its own. "Have me." it said. There were so many ways of doing it, but this was just the way he liked it. He had guided her the first few times. Now she was a master, no an artist. And the timing- well, the morning one had always been his favorite. He closed his eyes and kissed his sultry seductress in anticipation. He felt a rush of excitement.

He drew her in.The heat of the moment shocked him out of his lethargy. "Oops I forgot to brush " he mused for a second. But his desire to savour and possess her was too strong. His only thought was to consummate his passion.

When he was done he exclaimed to his wife " Ah! That was heaven. Don't deny that you enjoyed it. How about once more before we set off to work".

His morning cuppa. What better way to start the day?

Pending Visits

Some places I need/ want/ have to visit-
Where the weather is so good i would not need any warm clothing nor feel the need to strip
Where nature exhibits itself in all its glory , the birds & animals are so real that the word " majestic" acquires new meaning
Where all that is best of Indian architecture come together and yet the result is breathtaking and not a mish mash
Where I can travel long by road without getting a back ache and the journey becomes the destination
Where Anush feels happy and content and is enchanted by all that life has to offer
Where the sun is setting but never really does
Where none of us need to do any work but that of our choice

To be specific
Canada, Greece, Austarlia, Vienna, Okawango, Japan ( when the cherry blossom is in bloom)
Hampi, Lakshwadeep, Kashmir, Kajuraho( during the dance festival)

I need to explore-
Some play schools and creches in and around home

I also am curious about-
Queen Elizabeth's Best Loo/ Bath
Paris Hilton's Closet
Dior's Perfume gallery
The Naked Chef's kitchen
My house 20 years into the future

Mami's day out

Went to the Accord Metropolitan for dinner- Maamis cooking festival. When I called for reservations , here is how the conversation went:

Me: Hi Could I have a table for 3 for tonight 7.30pm for Mami's samayal ?
Them: Yes madam. The festival focuses on pure Iyengar food. Pure vegetarian.
Me: How come the newspaper ad shows an Iyer maami?
Them: That is what madam, Iyer and Iyengar menu - I mean Brahmin Menu- pure vegetarian madam.
Me: That sounds good. Thank you then. ...

The food, infact the menu, was a let down- no keerai, no paruppu ususli, no akkarai vadisal. Bajjis & vadais were flat, veggies rather uncooked.To be fair , the desserts & the service were great though. And they gave us a takeway tamboolam of kai murukku- simply superb.

A keyboard performer in the lobby played" Mr Postman" on my request and Anush sat in rapt attention and did the thaalam ( karnatic style) to that song with her head bobbing like a Music Rasikaa at the November Fest. ( The Hindu's music festival- an eclectic mix of musicians)

Before I forget, we saw Parthipan and his daughter - Kirthana is it? My mom met him up at the buffet and appreciated his Azhagi. He seemed happy and responded chirpily. We got discussing whether "stars" feel good when recognized & spoken to in public or would they rather be left alone and go inconspicuous. What do you think?

Night Out

My first over nighter(s) away from Anush is drawing close- in mid December. After over 2 years ( through pregnancy and post delivery), I will be away from my baby overnight. I am very apprehensive about it . My boss asked if Anush has been weaned what is the problem.

How do I explain? The problem is something called bonding. Fear that I might be forgotten. That I might miss a milestone. Possessive? Impractical? What ever it is , I cannot deny it.

I asked jokingly ( but meant seriously) can't Anush come along? He said you will also enjoy being away. But Boss, I do not wish to "enjoy" such a break.

Navy was away almost 3 months at a stretch when I was in Mumbai soon after delivery. I am not sure how he managed. But Anush was not so vocal and mobile then but she seemed far more vulnerable and fragile.

I need to do it some day. But does it have to be so soon? If Anush could speak maybe she would say- " Grow up Amma! And be good while you are away"

Have any of the moms reading this been away from their babies over night? How did you cope? I am sure the babies manage fine.

Thank God for Gyms

Thank God for Gyms. Gyms are where you see people slimmer than you and feel inspired. It is also there that you see people fatter than you and feel blessed.

Here are some typical gymmers:
Her Majesty- Probably an ex-athlete/university/ state level player, she wears a severe expression and walks imposingly as if she owns the place. Usually in no nonsense tracks & a T-shirt with some number on it & biceps to match. Could begin Gymmers Anonymous (GA)- given their addiction to gymming. In the absence of the trainer she becomes gym monitor. Give way to her, if she comes to the equipment you are using.

Roo - She burns calories hopping. Very fickle and sprightly, she hops from one exercise to the other in just a matter of seconds For variety, she is the self nominated radio channel/ cassette/ CD changer.

Wet Blanket- She is the perpetual complainer- the workperson who blames the tools... gym equipment . No gym is hi tech enough to the one she went to ( or claims she did ) back in the USA/ Europe/etc. She is also the least likely to have lost weight.

Ms Brando- Life is about fashion and attitude. This Diva wears only "Firnag" brands- be it shoes, clothes or even her make up .Yes she comes made up for a work out! "Tracks from export reject shops are just not ok you know." she says to us mere mortals in Fashion Street clothes.

Babe watcher- Not sure about how this translates in a men's gym but in a ladies' gym there are women who observe other women and offer unsolicited comments and complements on various parts of your anatomy.

Stink Bomb- Stinky shoes, stinky hair, stinky underarm... need I say more. Need to find out her bday and gift her a deo.

Zombie- Straight out of bed to gym, possibly in her night clothes, hair unkempt, tries to catch up on sleep by choosing the least rigorous exercise in the most inconspicuous corner of the room. Differs from stink bomb since she is not a social liability.

Talkathon- This is one enthu cookie. The enthusiasm is focussed on yakking away with all the various kinds of gymmers. Some indulge her and some find her distracting and some plain ignore her.

The Panter- No typo there. She pants and huffs because she wants to maximise her time here. Pity over enthusiasm is not contagious.

Petrified gymmer- The sweet simple type who desperately wants to fit in but is in awe of both the coaches and the co gymmers

Motivated gymmers- New mom. about to be bride, seven year itch, newly diagnosed with some ailment that required weight loss- these are the various sub types. While they are sincere, they wish to see magical results in record time. They check their weight daily and live in hope.

Gate Crashers- The model types who prance around the gym in their hot bodies without any jiggle-jangle of flab. They make you wonder why they are there and then provoke you silently into doing more exercise. Me thinks they are planted by the gym trainers/ owners.

Watch Dog- The conscience keeper- the tracker or squealer- she masquerades as a trainee but is in fact the trainer's spy. she knows all. Better befriend her. Natural enemies with the Gymthusiast.

Ladies Club- Rather chirpy and loud, they exchange notes on maids, cooking, shopping, beauty tips, job openings, gossip and sometimes if they remmeber weight loss/ gain as well. They are happy to congregate at an appointe dtime and make merry

Bumper- This one bumps into equipment, trainers, trainee and herself. Invariably she is on every machine that decides to bum out that day.

Trainers- They are only one kind - cruel. ( well that maybe an over generalization)

Writers/ Blogger- Yes, you find them at the gym as well looking for unsuspecting subject matter for their blog.

GYMS stand for Gundu girls Yellarum Made Slim.
I cannot put that in English since I cannot find a suitable expansion.

Friend revisited

We had two Quant Bonds in our PG class- N and Navy. They ensured that we all at least made C and did not flunk. While Navy was patient, N would lose his cool if you did not grasp fast enough and would often say" Obviously" in a very derogatory tone. How I hated him for it.

This monster would go all liquid when he saw a particularly pretty senior go by and exclaim " oh man she looks ready to crumble" He is one person who leched and openly so but you still didn't feel annoyed with him. And a little jig and a whacky dance step could have him in SPLITS.

Navy and N were comrades in Telugu speaking and of course in cricket- be it playing or watching it on our canteen TV. Not to forget in indulging the senses- with smoke and liquids. Being the only goody two shoes in the group, I was the alarm clock that woke them up to the morning class and got them off their butts into the city for golgappas and movies. I was also the stockist of snacks and sweets.

My name is among the commonest of Indian girl's names, next only to Pooja, Priya and Lakshmi. My nickname varied between Asquare and Art. N came up with "Artful Dodger" Only he called me that. (Yours truly adapted it for her blog title, recently.)

N would often be caught when there was a "family feud" as he referred to our ( Navy & I) squabbles. But he endured it and never took sides. A smart man.

His vocabulary rubbed off on us- " mickey mouse " projects for the kind you impart a lot of undue importance and "pl quit using a bulldozer to raze a mole hill" - meaning do not use fancy words/ contrived models/ jargon.

N was among the few to make a six figure stipend during summer training and ironically, also among the last to get finally placed.

He was also the only one to cut a toe on a scooter ride in Ahmedabad. Must have hurt him bad but he bore it well.

We had not been in touch for over 7 years. Could not attend his wedding either.
When we met a couple of days back, we did not speak about the weather, we did not spend time reproaching each other for not maintaining contact.

Time had served him well. He is patient enough to have taken care of his 15 month baby by himself for over 3 days.
Viva N ! May you and your kin flourish.

"A good friend is hard to find, hard to lose, and impossible to forget."
I guess there is some truth in these over abused quotes.

Walk the Talk

Saw a stray pup at the bus stop. It was trotting away by the road side. A very concerned school girl was trying to coax it off the road as there was heavy traffic. She kept on talking to it, guiding and applauding, rather mindless of the traffic herself. I was worried that neither the school kid nor the pup should get hurt.

Anyway when do puppies start to walk? At around 3 weeks? Anush has begun walking confidently- after over 14 months. I feel an unjustified sense of pride- but it is nature which has taught her. There is indeed a lot to learn from nature, for her and for me.

Just back from a trip to Chintamani in Kolar, Karnataka. A little township where Navy did his entire schooling. ( quite unlike mine).

• The peanuts are uniformly small and shaped & grown with so little fertiliser they taste great
• The cow's milk is wonderful and the cream you get is almost like butter.
• There is a perfect eco system with enough eagles and water bodies, a lot of vegetation on a very alluvial red soil
• Saw so many hens (much to Anush's delight " Buck baa baa" ) How long do hens live? Their life spans from 7-10 years! And 7 weeks if they are factory farmed with a purpose.
• And yes here is a lesson for Chennai- almost all houses have solar heaters. I guess the government offers some incentive to save electricity.. And which better place than Chennai to harness the sun's intensity.
  

Met an old friend from the past. I have not missed him for the last seven years. But I cannot describe the warmth I felt the instant I saw him yesterday. More about that in the next post.

Naamam and Pattai

The previous generation in my family had not seen any "intra caste" marriage( I have one Bengali and one Irish maami and a Punjabi Sikh kaaka( chittapa)) My Tamil friends have married Manipuris and Malayalees and Konkanis. So it was retro when I announced that I had found an Iyengar. Not that I went looking for one but he just happened to be that.
All said, " Hey 2 Tam brahms- no adjustment problems."

I guess they were right and they were wrong. Yes we are both veggies and Hindus. So it is not so complicated.

But there are differences which surface largely during functions:
The date on which the function falls differs. That is nice though- get to celebrate twice.

Who bears the expense of certain functions- the groom's side or the bride's? ( Anyway post marriage, we( Navy and I) bear it if permitted.)

My MIL does not know how to drape the Iyengar nine yard. My mother knows only the Iyer way . And I can barely tie a six yard myself. So, go figure.

I am in the habit of applying vibuthi daily and Navy has begun to follow the same. But when relatives are around, I am anxious they should not see me as a covert converter.

Touching elders' feet. First and foremost it should be left to the individual to decide how he wishes ( if he desires) to show his respect. The Iyengar way of doing namskaram is 3-4 times and is a true exercise in flexibility. Also which side of your husband you stand matters. I did not know this.

Then there is the matter of which God to worship. While all seems cool on the surface & Vinyaka is often invoked , a recent gifting spree made me realize that the poor Lord Ganesha did not have as many takers as Krishna and Lakshmis did. Navy had vehemently maintained till then that Ganesha ( his favorite deity) had universal acceptance and appeal.

The kind of thaali/ mangal sutra we wear ( if we do) is different. But that does not really matter too much.

The terms of reference in cooking are very unique. I wonder if it is still Tamil when rasam becomes saathumadhu and oravoothardu becomes amudhukuthardu

The order of serving also varies. Iyengars serve the rice first and then the side dishes - so one does not know what is coming.

Had Anushka been Arnav it may have been necessary to decide which of the two sects he belonged to ( poonal and all that)

But anyway with all these little differences, as I tell my indulgent MIL, they could not have got a better girl ( Iyer or Iyengar) than me for their son : - )

What lies beneath?

"Let me call Papa out. He should know his priorities"
Outside Nanavati Hospital, Mumbai, two women in their mid thirties, with an arm around each other, sat on the car park wall, facing their back to the visitors. One of them had been crying. A man about their age walked up, turned on his cell and said those words. He looked agitated and concerned.

Had Papa lost his lifetime mamma just then and was so much in grief that he was unwilling to come out of the hospital and do the necessary things

Was Papa in a meeting and not bothered to come and tend to an ailing wife at the hospital

Maybe Papa was divorced and so insensitive that he did not see why he should be around at least for his kids ( the weeping daughter)

Papa could have been such a good husband that he had forgotten he needed to be a good father

Was Papa attending to a close friend and had forgotten that his wife was returning from a long trip abroad and he had to pick her up ( maybe the weeping lady was the friend's daughter)

Maybe Papa's son was worried that Papa may contract some contagious disease if he stayed on in the hospital

Had Papa and Mama been in an accident together and only Mama had been injured, badly?

Maybe Papa's son wanted to book an FIR/ or talk things out with the insurance guys

Was Papa a GP and fighting out with experts who were handling his wife's case

I do hope Papa understood his priorities and everyone is okay.