My first over nighter(s) away from Anush is drawing close- in mid December. After over 2 years ( through pregnancy and post delivery), I will be away from my baby overnight. I am very apprehensive about it . My boss asked if Anush has been weaned what is the problem.
How do I explain? The problem is something called bonding. Fear that I might be forgotten. That I might miss a milestone. Possessive? Impractical? What ever it is , I cannot deny it.
I asked jokingly ( but meant seriously) can't Anush come along? He said you will also enjoy being away. But Boss, I do not wish to "enjoy" such a break.
Navy was away almost 3 months at a stretch when I was in Mumbai soon after delivery. I am not sure how he managed. But Anush was not so vocal and mobile then but she seemed far more vulnerable and fragile.
I need to do it some day. But does it have to be so soon? If Anush could speak maybe she would say- " Grow up Amma! And be good while you are away"
Have any of the moms reading this been away from their babies over night? How did you cope? I am sure the babies manage fine.
22 comments:
hey i hav to do it this month end. 2 days i guess. i am dreading it . apart from the very thought of being away from them & they searching for me i hav another anxiety- when i come back MIL shud not say - oh we managed pretty well without u!! seriously they r too bad for your egoes
I am not a parent yet.. so cant comment from a "been there" perspective.. but found your post very sweet.. All the best with that overnighter. Such a contrast from what some other mothers feel.
Well, I am not a mommy, but have seen mommies on both sides of the fence; Perhaps mommies who have travelled when the baby was a little younger and would not yet 'miss' them find it easier to get used to? Now that Anush has a mind of her own, I guess in a way, its tougher, though practically it would be easier for others to handle her...
I dont know what to say art. Being a full time Stay at Home Mom - my constant fight with hubby is to get some "me-time" - 10 mins of which are called bath! But I can understand your angst - it will be difficult no doubt. But you can always call and speak with her. And it'll just be 1 night. You know what - stop thinking about it - you'll just psych yourself.
You discriminatingly didn't ask about dads, but I will tell you anyway :)
I haven't away from our 20 month old kid until now for a night. But the time might soon come. I think I will manage without a problem. But the problem is the kid. He has to see me first thing in the morning. He keeps crying until I come and pick him up. (doesn't cry for my wife though ;)
We are going to India soon and I might have to go to Bombay for two days leaving the kid. It will be interesting to see how it will.
Here is my suggestion for you. Don't feel guilty if you don't miss him :) We all do need breaks from each other some time, be it kid, wife, husband or mom.
All the best TDNA & i2w
TDNA- Oops! A 1000 apologies.Did not ask the Dads since most of those I know have been away from their kids pretty soon and seem to be pretty cool about it
All- Thanks for the support/ empathy
No idea...pcchh...
That is true TD.. feeling guilty for not missing someone, no matter how close he/she is.. is normal once in a while.. just chill and have a nice time.. yeah babies do manage fine :-).
Hey it will be fine...has to happen someday right..now be a good girl and get to your work
well stay at home mother that i am, i have left my son for a week when he was 11 months with my mother. and then for 20 days during the first trimester... i missed him like mad and I hated being told that he was not missing me. but i can warn you that the kids tend to become rather clingy when they realise you are away for nights.
anush will be fine.Don't fret.She has to learn sooner than later.
HHg'mom
Enjoy yourself! Maybe in this time she'll bond a bit closer to her dad =)
thank you all for the much needed goading
my sons are now 16 and 11 years old- and tho I enjoy my "me- time", still I miss them when sometimes they go somewhere to stay during the hols. and I think it is us moms who have to do the learning, growing up- whatever, becos the kids always manage sooner or later.
Like my husband says, we have to allow ourselves to learn to live with seperation pangs, and the kids too have to learn to manage without us.
All the Best
take care
I have that problem too. When I first travelled, my son missed me so much that he was so angry and didn't get back to me when I came back. He had fever and was crying all night.
Even after a year, they still miss me when I travel. Now they just get fever. Phew! But they hug me when I am back!
I have written about it in my blog ;)
I guess it all depends...I mean I always talk to my child and mentally prepare him for it, staying away form mommy for a day or 2 also usually involves huge guilt-gifts from mommy at the end of it so he has learnt to look forward to those. But really ntohing or no one can replace a mom even if it is for just a day and they will miss you as much as you will ....you have to do it and get it over with, that's all!
I have no choice but to just get going and do it
thanks again all for chipping in
hey just chill.....this is part of life! I left my 10 mth old daughter fr 3 nites & she was fine. I think the kids will be absolutely fine....the prob is only with the parents (esp moms) i think!!
So have u gone on the trip or going?
Its us who are scared, kids don't care that much.. how aout a trial! just leave her fore few hrs... this way you will know exactly how she will react to it.. Good Luck
thanks guys
has2bme-going in mid Dec
mommyof2- i really dont think Anush will have a problem - i leave her for more than a few hrs daily when I am at work
Problem is ME- i dont think i willget sleep without her
I realised this post is exactly a week after Na was born and on H's birthday. I was still learning the ropes of being a mommy and very very weepy when I could not figure something out :)
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