A leave of Importance

An interesting, if outdated link comparing maternity leave around the world.

Norway and Sweden top the charts, if I read it right. In Sweden, parental leave can be used in a block, or taken in batches before the child is eight. What makes it possible is the fact that social security pays it, not the employer. However I believe the taxation is pretty high as well in Sweden.

Bulgaria, Brazil, Venezuela & Cuba are not bad & that too at 100% pay.
Denmark, France, Bulgaria are also a good places to get pregnant if maternity leave and pay is the key criteria.
Australia has a catch with 1 year but no pay
There was talk of India getting 6 months maternity leave. I wonder what happened to it?

If one is purely a home maker, does any country/government offer any incentive for job well done? Possibly countries with lower population or with an aging public and not enough babies?

Ear Say

No teething trouble, No weaning trauma, No yearning cries. Just EAR RING Blues.

Anushka had poor luck with her ear piercing the first time- by the achari ( the ear piercer) on her Ayush homam. It was too low on one ear.

A little while ago we got it redone with a gun shot at GRT and she had on nice blue studs.
On day 10 we were to change the ear ring - the way she screamed!! It made us all go soft and weep with her. ( I know it sounds funny now)

A day or so later she managed to pull off one of them. Feeling very cruel some how managed to put in little neem sticks ( grandma's tested method) to avoid infection and until she( and I) was brave enough to put on earrings on her.

She managed well till yesterday. Last evening somehow she kind of snapped the twig on one side and kept fingering her ear and now it has become rather red.

I wish we had done it early when she was 10 days old or so and her hands were not so curious. Or that Anush was not keen on bangs ( bangles) and chains and ting ting tings ( ear-rings)

Know any Indian woman who does not have her ears pierced? Maybe Anush can set a trend. Except the earring industry will have to make more magnetic/ clip on earrings if her interest in jewelry continues.

Seriously, I wonder if it is really worth it.

Bidaee

I had been lucky enough to get a six month maternity leave. I spent it at Mumbai, my parents' place. I spent a month preparing myself for the D day.

I would leave Anush for 10 minutes and go off for a walk since that was all I could manage
She was very cooperative about starting on other foods ( after a tip from our maid who suggested that a baby can be fed better if she was lying down on your stretched legs.) It seemed dangerous at first but in a day I got the knack of it.

I came to Chennai in early January. That was exciting because it meant coming back to my own home and to Navy. Navy had a really nice welcome planned for us.

We identified a maid pretty quickly - luckily a very seasoned one. ( browsing helped)
My grandma came over to oversee the maid as we are not okay with trusting the baby with a nanny alone.

I left her for a half day just the day prior to my returning to work. I spent time getting my hair back in shape for corporate life. ( yes I had not even taken time off to visit the parlour in the preceding 6 months- in my urge to spend all the time possible with Anush) I would have come back with one leg pedicured- so anxious was I at the parlour.

Despite the preparation and Navy constantly teasing me to make me feel lighter, it was pure torture the first day back at work- a mixture of fear & confusion. I did not call home since i was sure I would break down if I did and run back to Anush- a tough task considering my home is 16 kms away from office

I wished I was in Sweden where they have long paternity and maternity leave
I wished I had been self employed
I wished I had pursued my engineering and got a flexi timing or a work form home software job- i still do

But then it got better. The first month I tried and got home a little early. My boss granted me the favour of not having to travel out of station for almost all of last year ( though my job demands it)

You may have seen my posts on my first night outs. Now I have managed it three times so far. (Munnar, Raipur and Ahmedabad) And will shortly have to do 3 nights away at a stretch-S'pore- am still a little nervous! I hope Anush remembers me when I get back. I draw strength from the fact that Navy travels often and she is all the more affectionate when he gets back.

This prompted this post.

Where on earth?

An update for Earth's Day, to my current favourite place on earth- Velachery and Chennai.

Velachery has two outlets of Reliance Fresh!- one close to my place on Velachery Main road and the other on Velachery bypass( 100 feet road) . Both are way too crowded and desperately need an express counter , else there is likelihood of the veggies going from fresh to stale by the time your turn to bill and pay comes up.

The locality has a jewellers by name NSC which was smartly launched with Akshaya Tritheya ( the Indian Gold Rush- actually an auspicious day to buy gold) and a coffee pub ( finally) called Coffee World.

I really cannot fathom why no movie multiplex has been floated in this area....

Check Storytrails out- I love this concept. Would be great to be a part of an endeavor like this. And to begin with I wish to experience the Dance and the Bazaar trails once launched.

I missed a lovely air show on Marina on Sunday because we had gone over to Sri Kalahasthi. More on that later.

Also missed an official trip to Bangladesh, since I opted out. It was only fair since my colleague was doing a lot more of the legwork on it. It is one of those countries ( along with Nepal and Sri Lanka ) where an Indian does not feel poorer or too far away from home. So if you want a global experience you can forget it. Sri Lanka is like Kerala or Goa, Nepal is like Ladhakk meets Nainital. Not just are we a part of the same Indian sub-continent with a common past but we also share cricket, cuisine( in part) and clothing. The 3 Cs that dominate our life.

My memory of Bangladesh is what my father brought back to us when I was in school. Cheap cotton t shirts, moodas, Jamdani saris, palm jaggery and a small grain rice to make kheer with. And some very cultured doctors who were just very Bengali to me, a South Indian brought up in Mumbai.

Hopefully my colleague gets me back some palm jaggery. Else will have to check with Reliance Fresh if they can source it.

My dear Paprazzi

They follow you. They hound you. They can be very persuasive. They can irritate as well. They make your life heaven or hell- whatever they want it to be.

Anush - my own multitasking "Paapa* "-razzo- Anush.
She rules my life and how!
When I am not at work, she will follow me everywhere. She does not even spare my most private loo moments.
She is on the prowl for any door I leave open. Ransacks all the things in the closet- skeletons or not.
She monitors what I eat and wants it too.
She even expects me to tell her my husband's whereabout. God forbid if she sees me resting my head on Navy. She raises a big hue and cry about it.

As I said, she does rule my life and I love it !

* paapa ( baby in Tamil).

Friday Frenzy

A couple of Fridays back I lost my credit card. I blocked it. The PIN has come in but not the new card!! The courier came in post office hours to deliver the card, on two different days!

Yesterday we went and tried to register our marriage - our friends( and witnesses) even got us garlands to exchange and were having a lot of fun despite the heat. Oh why oh why can't the government make it simple for nomads like us who stayed in different cities than the ones we are in now and the a third one we got married in.

As long as the husband and wife are sure that they are married and have the wedding invite and photos and even a baby ( with her birth certificate) as proof what is the government's problem. And by the way, rent receipts are not adequate proof of address either!!

It would have been simpler to get married again ! Only thing Anushka would have been born out of wedlock then.....hmmmm

Our voter id photo could not be taken since we were travelling on the assigned date/place. Yesterday they finally accepted our own passport size photos. Felt victorious!

Seriously we in India need to move to the social security number system. Or maybe I am just a very lazy person when it comes to all this. ( only i can say that - so do not be ungenerous in your comments)

Why do most accessible swimming pools in Chennai have women's timings in the middle of the work day? Do they presume that working women already know swimming or that they are not entitled to learn swimming? Or worse still, that women don't work at all?

Delhi Dwellings

Was in the capital city yesterday.

Was surprised to see how hot it was already. It has also joined the other Indian cities with water problems/ scarcity, at least this summer.

The hoardings are far fewer than in Chennai or Mumbai.

This is the only place where I saw accidents on flyovers- autos have rammed into the boundary walls of the flyovers!!

Ate in a restaurant called Chor Bazar, near Mc Doanlds, Noida. Chaat was good, dessert bad. Interesting choice of side dishes - bitter gourd and raw jackfruit were there apart from the omnipresent paneer.

I bought nine outfits for Anushka in Lajpat Nagar market for a steal, in fifteen minutes flat.

It reminds me a lot of a hotter- larger Blore. I cannot pin down why. Any help?

Anushka scores

She turned 20 months on Monday. I though this is a good time share how the journey ( literally) has been with a baby in tow.

I have heard some mothers groan about travel with kids under 2 years. I used to dread having a kid on the same compartment/ flight as me when I was not a mother.

Anushka has been travelling since she was a little over a month. She has used planes, cars, bikes, autos and trains. And it has been a great ride.

Here is why babies make great travelmates:
Even the cliched become exciting - We visit zoos and parks and take boat rides on little ponds that masquerade as lakes. The journey itself is fun since it is a new experience for the baby
You see things differently- I am attentive and point out to things that i feel may interest Anushka. In the process I discover more.
Every visit / outing leaves you with the feeling that the child has experienced a little more- either social skills or just her being able to prance about in the open or hearing the cow moo rather than her father's impression of it
The kid has fun and enjoys being outdoor and most of all with you
There is no guilt of using up "our" time as "me" time- it is family time- the " quality" time we keep looking for.

And why not-
The baby may fall ill.
You have to fend for them all the time. But that is true even if you are at home with them. (Unless you have some domestic help. Anyway you will find them easier to keep engaged when you are out.)

The trick is to plan well ahead, choose the right kind of places, be adventurous enough to change the plans if need be. More posts to follow in a few days on this here.

gullible me?

ASSUME YOU LIKE TWO BRANDS EQUALLY....

would you PREFER a brand because brad pitt claims he wears it ...or shah rukh closer home?

would you not buy it now because sachin or yuvraj endorse it? ( given their world cup performance)

Max you will notice a brand because of these ambassadors

whom are the marketers kidding? why don't they invest in better products rather than waste our money on the"celebrities"

Enter here

If interested please check out my first guest post here.

Even if you are not interested please check it out.

The Intruder

He came in uninvited. A fat eeky guy. It was not really his fault. He is not wanted anywhere. And he cannot help it if God made him that way.

Call me ungenerous, but I too did not want him at home. Definitely not a healthy presence around Anushka.

He would bring his entire brood with him and they would hardly be coaxed to leave. Not to mention Navy would not help me on this one. It would fall entirely on me to help him find his way out.

Time to call the Hit men.

In case you did not guess, I had a visit from a mammoth cockroach. Anyway my Reeboks finally came in useful since they have not been taking their walk and workout at the gym anymore.

Geographic Boundaries

Have you noticed how Mumbai will have a Madras Cafe and a Chennai will have a Bangalore Bakery and Kolkatta will have a Dilli Chaat.

I am sure I saw a Taj Mahal in Amsterdam and a Ganesha Pub as well!

Even within a city, eg. Adyar Anand Bhavan would probably have branches in Anna Nagar and T Nagar.

As an individual you wear your origin with pride( at leats you should)
I suppose that helps even when it comes to shops.

We try to recreate pockets of familiarity wherever we go. Nostalgia seems to be the common thread running across. And if it makes business sense all the better!

What do you think?

F*******

The not so new F word. Been tagged by apu to offer my 2 bit on feminism.

My earliest recollection is a scene in Mary Poppins where the lady of the house campaigns for the right for women to vote. We have come a long way. Or have we? In one not-so-old Rajni movie he says how a woman should behave-something to this effect- "coy and demure".

Made my blood boil !(despite the fact that I am a Rajni fan!) That too when in real life his wife is such an achiever in her own right. Wish censors would take note of such things rather than smoking on screen.

Feminism stands for equal rights and the right to be respected and treated with dignity. Both men and women can be feminists and that should clarify that bra burning is not a necessary step to qualify.

It is the cynics who equate the symbols for the spirit and distort the whole concept.

Years of conditioning can also be changed, slowly but surely. An uncle of mine has always had things done for him at home. He never asked for it to be that way. His wife was the hoem maker and he was a "passive" recipient .

He saw how my father chipped in at my home and decided he could do the same. His wife was stunned. And delighted that a few minutes of "unsolicited" help could go a long way in making her feel more wanted. It truly infused romance into their life.

Today's generation is probably better than the previous one in terms of helping as a matter of course and not making a big show of it. Perhaps because the woman contributes equally to the kitty? Or our mothers & fathers had begun to pave the way?

True Feminism in my opinion would mean saying no to chivalry. It has at its core a gender bias. Also i cringe from women who use coquetry to get their way.

On the other hand, if you like doing something for your mate just go ahead. It does not make you meek or any less of a feminist. You do it for the person - not because he is a man and you are the woman.

And finally do not take shit from anyone- man or woman.

An update

Visited GRT's new showroom and got Ansuhka's ears pierced with a gun shot. No problems so far and it was done well too. Took her to the play area they have in the premises to distract her immediately after. A truly well thought out plan this new showroom has. (We had had her ears pierced traditionally with the aachari during her star first bday in blore but it was off the mark and also there was some infection. So we let it heal and close.)

Celebrated Navy's birthday in big style- Tag Heur watch, Polaroid sun glasses, tonnes of outfits and RK Narayan. Last year he was on an official cruise and Anushka and me sent him a cake there. This year it was fun to have him around.

Anushka has learnt to do namaskaram and does it 3-4 times in a row- true blood Iyengar girl she is turning out to be.

Her thaatha and my paati were in town and she is a huge Thaatha fan- wanting him to see all her antics and following him everywhere.

Took a great photo of four generations this weekend- from my paati to Anushka.

Saw In pursuit of Happyness and Little Miss Sunshine- both gorgeous feel good movies with lovely little kids who are not over the top like the KKHT types.

Incredible- I saw Kapil Dev in flesh and blood and did not take an autograph or pose for a photo- such self control on my part I must say.

I really wish to spend more time on the blog and most importantly visit all of you but am facing a time crunch. Will remedy this in a week or so.

Nishabd

Saw Nishabd. Old married man falls for daughter's friend. Jia Khan is very provocative hardly innocent or vulnerable looking. They should have cast someone like Amrita Rao instead. Then it would have come across as less of physical adoration/ infatuation. Here one tends to side with Revathi ( the wife) rather than Amitabh. Talk about having nothing to say.

Anyway , lesser said the better.

YEAH!! My 150th Post ! Now u know what I really wanted to say

Flights of fancy

Usually the plane circles before finding landing space. Now there is a new dimension. It takes on an average 15 minutes to get from the aircraft to the building in Delhi Airport. The bus gets delayed and then it has to wait at aircraft crossings.

I visited Raipur after 6 years and found it had become the state capital and has such a cool tourism department which promotes through cds not brochures at least to me!!

I met a dean of the college next door to my office on a flight. Small world.

I watched Swami and friends on Jet Airways ( yes in flight entertainment on domestic flights) and I want to buy the complete collection.

I met my father in Delhi though I missed him in Mumbai. He was there on work as well.

I lost my credit card and my peace of mind with it but took very little time to block the card and regain sanity

I invested in my most expensive bit of makeup- Loreal Shocking Volume Mascara!

I am reading a book whose name I cannot recollect about a love story of an IIT student. Not bad at all- though there is a huge Chetan Bhagat hangover.

All in all an eventful 3 days.

And yes please visit this new travel blog.

Glory

Last Sunday, I was felicitated for completion of five years of service! Never thought I would last that long anywhere. All my previous jobs were just short of a year each.

I sang the invocation song- Maithreem Bhajatha.

The video on a day at work ( a fun perspective to employees' families) which was my brainchild, was received very well.

This week holds a lot of travel , followed by more celebration this weekend as well.