April 10, 2007

F*******

The not so new F word. Been tagged by apu to offer my 2 bit on feminism.

My earliest recollection is a scene in Mary Poppins where the lady of the house campaigns for the right for women to vote. We have come a long way. Or have we? In one not-so-old Rajni movie he says how a woman should behave-something to this effect- "coy and demure".

Made my blood boil !(despite the fact that I am a Rajni fan!) That too when in real life his wife is such an achiever in her own right. Wish censors would take note of such things rather than smoking on screen.

Feminism stands for equal rights and the right to be respected and treated with dignity. Both men and women can be feminists and that should clarify that bra burning is not a necessary step to qualify.

It is the cynics who equate the symbols for the spirit and distort the whole concept.

Years of conditioning can also be changed, slowly but surely. An uncle of mine has always had things done for him at home. He never asked for it to be that way. His wife was the hoem maker and he was a "passive" recipient .

He saw how my father chipped in at my home and decided he could do the same. His wife was stunned. And delighted that a few minutes of "unsolicited" help could go a long way in making her feel more wanted. It truly infused romance into their life.

Today's generation is probably better than the previous one in terms of helping as a matter of course and not making a big show of it. Perhaps because the woman contributes equally to the kitty? Or our mothers & fathers had begun to pave the way?

True Feminism in my opinion would mean saying no to chivalry. It has at its core a gender bias. Also i cringe from women who use coquetry to get their way.

On the other hand, if you like doing something for your mate just go ahead. It does not make you meek or any less of a feminist. You do it for the person - not because he is a man and you are the woman.

And finally do not take shit from anyone- man or woman.

25 comments:

apu said...

nice and practical ! i agree with the chivalry bit - i certainly don't need it. and if help is needed, there is no harm in asking - be it men or women, but chivalry is not help !

nz said...

short and sweet - It would have taken me pages to express my views on this one !
good writing - I couldnt agree more :-)

artnavy said...

nz- why dont u take up this tag?

How do we know said...

True. And well written.

itchingtowrite said...

loved the last para.

Deepti said...

Of all the things in the post you said, I agree. But what really gets the message across:
"And finally do not take shit from anyone- man or woman."
Nice.

artnavy said...

thanks all- would like t have some men's perspective

Hip Grandma said...

'Today's generation is probably better than the previous one in terms of helping as a matter of course and not making a big show of it.'

It is indeed good to see the change.I'll take up the tag tho' it may sound repetitive.

B o o said...

Art - You have tagged me this? Why oh why do you want me to think for a post? ;)

Anonymous said...

great shoba de

artnavy said...

boo- yes- i am sure u have a lot to say about teh subject

in fact i wish to tag all the names on the right colum - all the bloggers I visit

i have no male perspective yet....

hhgmom- your style is so inimitable and being from my mom's age group it would be a dfferent take...

Alan said...

"i have no male perspective yet...."

That's because whatever we say will likely get us in trouble.

artnavy said...

alan- since when did u shy away from trouble

now be a real man and give me your 2 bit!!

The Kid said...

I happen to disagree on disagree on many things said here. Not sure if it would be rude for a guy to take up a tag on feminism...

Alan said...

Hey Kid - it may not be rude, but probably not the wisest thing to do. I've not said much of anything yet, but I think Art is already yelling at me. ;)

The Kid said...

hey Alan,

I don't think Art will scream at me, because you know: I am just a kid.

I can get away with almost anything ;)

artnavy said...

hey u guys- i dont scream u know

i asked for your view- remember

and anyway i am this angel who is willing to give a hearing....seriously :-))))

Alan said...

There, there, Art. Don’t worry your pretty little head about such matters. (Sorry, I just couldn’t resist the standard sarcastic punch line.) ;)

But seriously...

“Feminism stands for equal rights and the right to be respected and treated with dignity.”

Actually, this is a people issue rather than just a feminist issue. These rights should obviously apply to all people now matter how you want to group them (gender, race, religion, caste, hair color, whatever).

Despite all the social engineering imposed by governments, men and women are still fundamentally different, both in plumbing and wiring. Neither one is better than the other, just different. And let’s face it; these differences are what make life fun and interesting.

Something that seems ridiculous to me is all the language alterations. For example, “actresses” are now “female actors”. Why is the “ress” suffix bad and the “or” suffix good?

Regarding chivalry: One website defines the following; “13th century conventions of chivalry directed that men should honor, serve, and do nothing to displease ladies and maidens.” Doesn’t sound too bad to me. But now that most of us are well out of the 13th century (with the exception of a few middle eastern countries), this is probably a moot point.

Regarding coquetry: If a woman’s got the goods to use it to her advantage, then more power to her. Frankly, most of us guys are shallow enough to fall for it. The hard core feminists are probably just jealous. Sorry for the stereotype, but when the feminist movement was at its peak in the USA during the 70’s, I don’t recall many “hot babes” amongst the group.

And just for the record, Meri Biwi and I share the finances and housework equally. However, I do get all of the yard work and vehicle maintenance.

OK Art, fire at will!

artnavy said...

alan- that is just it. see there is no issue at all- u said what i belive on almost all counts except coquetry and to some extent chivalry

fundamentally i think any one shld get by on merit- if merit is looking good ( as in an actress/ model)- then exploit that by all means- but not other wise -

Because it is is unfair ot the men. It also means u either do not have merit/ calibre or you are just not confident enough

on chivalry- if u hold doors for both men and women i have no probs with it..or u loveteh woamn and want to show u care....i.e. if u r doing it for the person then it is completely acceptable. If it is ONLY because she IS a woman then no that is not reason enough

And a woman has no busienss to expect equal rights and also expect chivalry at the same time.

Alan said...

I hold doors for anyone just because it's the polite thing to do. Chivalry or who the person is doesn't cross my mind at all.

artnavy said...

hats off to u Alan!!

The Visitor said...

Interesting conversation there between art, alan and the kid.

Lavs said...

I have posted my story on feminism in my blog. do drop in.

Usha said...

oh yes blood pressure hit the roof too when I heard this pomblai pomblaiya irukanum dialogue in several Rajni films ( padayappa and the other with amla where he takes his arrogant MIL on) dont see his films anymore.
Sensible take on feminism.

The Kid said...

I have explained my stance in my blog!