January 08, 2007

And the Wind Blows

Being in the fragrance industry i was browsing for some relevant innovations and I chanced upon this- a flatulence deodorizer

Initially I found it hilarious. Had to chide myself for being a stuck in time juvenile delinquent. This is one act where you are not looked upon kindly if you are the giving ( generous) variety. Then I felt bad for those who needed such a product- This is a subject that really evokes more laughter than concern.

Fart Facts
There is no difference in the chemistry of male and female digestion, hence men and women emit the same amounts of gas. However, men apparently have more fun doing it.
Some items are renowned for their effects : lentils, cauliflower, cabbage, peas & Garlic.
The cellulose in vegetables cannot be digested, therefore vegetarians produce more gas than people with a mixed diet.
Is a fart just a burp coming the wrong side? No- the chemical content is different.
Nothing harmful about holding a fart- so all who thought u had a valid excuse to do it in full glory- defer it in public - at least try
When the boss farts, pay no heed- will show your endurance and solidarity

What would you do if you inadvertently let one out?
Act Cool and ignore
Look at the neighbour in an unforgiving way
Challenge all present to beat yours
Raise your voice, drag a chair, do a jig
pollcode.com free polls

Farting Etiquette
Yes.There is such a thing. The acoustic range of a fart varies from unheard to deafening( sometimes hearing- threatening). The olfacatory one could be odourless to stinkbomb
If the former, you can play innocent If the latter, you are supposed to plead guilty and formally excuse yourself.
Passing wind in a lift is a no no. There is no way for the victims to escape and revenge may follow.

Celluloid Effarts
Salman Khan's look of bliss after a rather explosive escapade due to a over hearty meal in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam
Cant think of any others.... can you ?


itchingtowrite said...

ha ha . my favourite topic. rather fav topic in my entire khaandaan. the military style fart is theatening and deafening sometimes stink bomb. salman has farted in hello brother too. check out autograph - the teacher always does it in that. a person i know always switches on the radio when he goes to toilet so that the escapades are not heard. often he places radio under his chair so that he is not heard.

Rebus said...

Well in Dr. Dolittle you can see the whole family fart away to glory I dont know part I or II.

I still have to hear/overhear the other side of the acoustic range. Hope I survive :)

artnavy said...

Wow a lot of movies I must say ....

apu said...

well, I dont know about movies.. but havent you heard that joke.

Where a woman organises a surprise bday party for her husband,with 12 good friends invited..She brings him to the table blindfolded.. While she goes in to get the cake, he proceeds to...

Rebus said...

Oh just saw a trailer, I guess you are the perfect candidate for perfume.

Sanjay said...

Ahh fun facts! Do you know our president loves to let one go once in a while?

artnavy said...

rebus- have read the book "perfume"- it so GORY at the end i cannot begin to describe it

Orchid said...

boy!! you are really fond of that poll thing aren't you!!!!
Didn't Jim Carey do it in a lift in some movie? And there's tons of "wind blowing" in White Chicks. Don't ask me why I saw that movie. And ofcourse, my son A's favorite wind episode is the one in Shark Tales. And oh, talking about etiquette....the most common expression I have heard is "oops, I stepped on a duck"!!

Fuzzylogic said...

Quite a topic eh?:)Farting in lift is the worst of all,imagine having to suffocate in amidst of a crowd with no room to escape!I get so pissed off when anyone does that.It's the worst form of torture!
Fun collection of facts.Regarding movies with farts you can never forget the "Nutty Professor" this is the flick having a fair amount of fart jokes.
Thankfully I haven't been subjected to the higher acoustic range of the fart!

Cloudy Musings said...

Yea...i remember the Dr. dolittle thing...

Have you seen the new ad of KBC 3?? In that, the guy in the lift farts and lil SRK smells and says, "mooli ke paranthe??" That lil kid is cho chweet!!

KK said...

Nice topic... and a good poll to have :)
Shrek and Ice age have farting under water scenes :)

@ said...

ok so the deodizer got you researching, but did you have to write about it to such excruciating detail??

ps: pls don't ask, 'did you have to read it to the last word' :)

thx for the laugh :)

Alan said...

Farts are universally funny and amusing, so I see no need for the device mentioned.

My theory has been that women love farts. I can sit in my cubicle for days with no one bothering me. If I accidentaly let one slip out, a female co-worker will immediately appear.

artnavy said...

So!! - no one was put off by this odorous journey

Orchid- yeah- i LOVE the poll thingie- but i will take a break in the next post

alan- i wld run away not appear

@- see " God is in the details"

cloudy/kk/fuzzy/ others- thanks for the contibutions in terms of the movies that had it

need to see the kbc ad

Neha said...

Burping is better...have u heard that joke????OK...it might sound a little gross to some...
Why to fart and waste??
When u can burp and taste?? :D

Has to be me said...

whoa! what a topic 2 discuss! Im amused @ a flatulence deodorizer!! Hmm.... so do u've a strong sense of smell?! ;) LOL @ farting etiquette!

mommyof2 said...