January 05, 2007

Brat?

Anush has begun identifying people as well by their name. She is Akka. Navy is Navnu ( as I refer to him). She refuses to state my name despite my beseeching her to do so. And yes, my mother, her Paati is Dajum. ( more or less my mother's name)

A couple of people seemed offended by her calling her paati by name. Let me know what you think:


Can a child refer to her grandma by her first name ?
No way. Bad Manners.
Of course. What are names for?
Not in India
Yes If the granma does not mind.
Free polls from Pollhost.com

19 comments:

apu said...

A mix of the above :) As in, can do occasionally, for fun, but not all the time;

Not because I think this is particularly disrespectful, but if everyone started calling everyone by name, or even, say, just "aunt" or "uncle", then where would all our rich titles like pati, athai, mama, chithi, masi, kaka etc go ? I feel this is part of the way we maintain our culture...(not meaning this in any rabid shiv sena way !)

artnavy said...

Apu- I am with you on that. But I was curious if that is the diplomatic answer or whether people have stonger sentiments on this- hence the poll

also managed to find a poll mechanism- so wanted to try it :-)

Anyway anush's paati thinks Daajam will do just fine till she learns to say paati

Kalpana said...

If elder people are comfortable, then no problem.

Sanjay said...

Probably all of that. but this is aphase, it will change eventually.

Orchid said...

I say no way, bad manners....it's sort of cute at first and then starts to annoy you. A used to call hubby the way I did and soon it started getting on our nerves , now he doesn't,thank god! ANd here I am eternally confused as to what I should teach A..does he call all my Indian friends as ---- uncle/aunt or will they get offended or should I just stick to the American norm of addressing people by first names?
Will do you tag soon :)

Amimu said...

it is a very confusing, i am not sure if it a respect thing. it basically norm followed through generations. calling by name is definitely not disrespectful. we call godesses/gods by his names, don't we? muruga, shiva, lakshmi, etc.

Anonymous said...

As we all know, they grow out of it. So it's not a big problem. But i feel that it's cute only when they are young and don't know what they're saying. I hate it when grown-ups address their grandparents with their first names. As much as they think it's normal, it's rude and obnoxious. You don't think so? Nevermind, it's only me then.

Fuzzylogic said...

I would not encourage my little one to address her grandparents by name,one thing they would freak out if she did and another thing is I want her to grow up the way I did.Maybe in the beginning it might seem cute but somehow having grown up never addressing them by the first name I also would not be comfortable with it.Respect thing is subjective,just because they would call them the right way and not by the name wouldn't necessarily mean there will be respect or vice versa.I feel to me addressing them as granny and grandpa is a form of building closer bonds by making you feel the relation everytime you do.Here in the west sometimes kids even call mom and dad with their first names so it all depends on how you would view things and how strongly you feel about that issue.

Coffee said...

I think its just a phase..... once she is old enough to realise it she will go back to the respectful names.

www.withacupofcoffee.wordpress.com

NZ said...

Hmmm, interesting.... I think they will grow out of it only if we correct them. And yes, calling dadi, nani, masi, mama etc does show a bonding otherwise to me, calling,say, grandma by name sounds very impersonal even if the grandparent is comfy with it :-)

I missed a couple of your posts as didn't get time to visit my fav blogs recently due to holidays. Will come back later to read at leisure :-)

Happy New Year to you too and thanks for your comment on my first post of the year.

The Kid said...

Nobody in my family call my maternal grandparents as "thaatha" or "paati". They are Ravipa and Ravima. God knows who kept this weird name, but now the whole maternal extended family calls them that !

It was cute even when my mom call them with that name! he he!

B o o said...

Its just a phase. Its cute the first few times but gets a little annoying later. But I dont agree with the "grandma does nt mind" part. Dont grandmas agree with everything their precious grand kids do?! ;)

mommyof2 said...

I think not in India cuz there people take this as disrespect. But if grandma doesn't mind its ok for sometime cuz it sound really cute coming from a kid's mouth:-)

I love it when my kids call us by names but as my son is turning 4, it doesn't sound that cute now. Even though he calls us by name once in a while still Im telling him to stop now & its going fine..

So I will say let her(not infront of people), if grandma is ok;-) but make sure not to become a habit:-)

SM said...

I guess it's cute for a while and then it starts to bother you. Especially if you are like me- a worrier.
Happy New Year!

artnavy said...

Guess it is a phase and a cute one now- will have to ensure it does not become annoying

Noodlehead said...

hmmm, personally i wudn't mind if a baby called me by my name....after all what are names for?? but i wouldn't want my baby calling an elder by name...but if the perosn doesn't mind then it's alright! i guess it all depends on how the adults take it!

Something to Say said...

I guess its a phase....and if you keep referring to your Mom as paati she'll correct herself pretty soon. But its sooo cute.

@ said...

well, 'Daajam' is not exactly her name, is it? It only sounds like it...and this is Anush's spin on paati's name. And at this stage, she means love, not disrespect...so my vote would be as long as Paati doesn't care and as long as Anush doesn't cross the limit (in my mind, that would be calling nee, vaa etc or something like that) the title is cute and should be celebrated!!!

the mad momma said...

well its simpler to have specific names to refer to family members as we do in India and i dont consider a loss of culture in any way... culture evolves...

but i think they outgrow it anyway so its hardly a cause for concern....

and in the beginning its quite cute too.... besides which, the moment you force kids to do something they do the opposite!