January 22, 2009

Kids will be kids

All the kids get together in our old apartment to play each evening. The moms usually accompany them. Very rarely do I see any Dad( hmmmmm.)

We( Anush and I) try to join in when I am back on time from work.

There is a young boy X. He tends to be a little over enthu/ hyper but he is not violent and is affectionate to all.

One of my friends ( mom to another little boy) asked me to be cautious around X since he is a pervert!! ( she said he regularly hits her chest when he speaks to her.) I smiled and thanked her for the tip.

But I can never feel completely okay around X now. I am a little paranoid about watching over ANush when he is there.

And I wonder if that is being fair to him. I wonder if my friend should let others know ( like she did)?

Could she have informed the parent instead?
Should she speak to the child herself?
Would she mind so much if the child had been a girl?

Are there any easy answers?

18 comments:

Monika,Ansh said...

How old is this boy X?

No easy answers but my reaction wud have been the same as yours.

Speaking to his parents might not be a good idea. Which parent can accept a thing like that?

On the other hand, speaking to the child may be a good idea. But how does one choose the words on such a difficult topic?

Artnavy said...

Monika
X is about 5 plus- makesit even more difficult

also forgot to mention that X's mom also tends to be a very excitable

~nm said...

A 5 year old boy wouldn't even know about such stuff.

I feel this friend of yours is over reacting.

DC said...

5 yr old did you say?? I don't think a boy of 5 will have such thoughts... (I really hope so!)..maybe it is just his innocent habit, an action without any sinister motive. Perhaps you could try telling gently to the child that people don't push or shove while talking...

Monika said...

i have my doubts that he means what he is taken for... he would picked up that bad habit from somewhere and needs to be told its not good thats all...

i think ur friend is reacting a bit too much...

i feel for X he just needs to be told probably

Artnavy said...

nm- i tried telling my friend that it was unlikely in some one that young but she insisted- i only ocassionaly interact with the kid -while she interacts daily - her boy and X are buddies.

DC- i hope not too :-)

Artnavy said...

all-
she is not a close enough friend for me to tell her too strongly

do u think she would react like this has X been a little girl?

I think I will watch the kid a little and let him know if required

choxbox said...

not easy to answer.

but here are my thoughts:
given the kind of stuff kids see in movies/media, i wouldnt put it beyond a 5 yr old to be interested/curious about the stuff. however i would not brand him a pervert.

waiting and watching is the best thing to do as you say. for all you know, there might be nothing to it. if not, well, tell him its not a good idea to do that because you (or anyone else) do not like it at all. that should do. if it doesnt work and you feel you should, then go to parent.

had it been a little girl, it would still have been irritating but she would not have got branded a pervert surely.

Anonymous said...

Keep a little distance from the kid if you must, but please do not spread this 'perception' further among other people in the building because it might soon become a raging rumour. Cannot be good for a five year old. He's probably doing it innocently anyway but such rumours take a life and longevity of their own.

Just Like That said...

Sonny boy is going to be 5 yrs old and gets curious about my 'bump' occasionally and asks me curious questions which I meet with an answer always. I guess any kid would, irresp of boy/girl. tho' its more awkward when its a boy on the other side. But Sonny boy only indulges his curiousity with me, not with any outsiders, not even relatives, tho' he does occasionally try to peep up the steps of the sliding board!! at some 'puppy shame' of his friends! Yeah, he is like that only! :-D

I reprimand him for it in public, esp since puppy shame can only be viewed up a girl's skirt and not a boy's shorts! Boys!!
X, I feel must be curious too, the kid can hardly be branded a pervert for his curiosity. I too feel the friend is over-reacting. Go to the parents of X with this observation only if you want to sever all relations with them :-D

How do we know said...

I can answer only one of those questions - no, there are no easy answers.
A 5 year old boy is at the right age to ask difficult questions and do embarassing things.. its normal. he has to be told what works and what does not, and he will be fine. Really.

How do we know said...

oh, and there is nothing sexual about his quest. He is just wondering why all the aunties have a raised bosom while he and all the girls and all the uncles dont. Why only aunties? What have they hidden there? Cotton? Balls?

It will be good to ask this boy "why are you hitting me here?" when he does that. Children have a natural sexual curiosity too. Its normal. its sexual in the sense that they are wondering why some parts of their body have to be covered more than others, why are these parts special? Why are they different in girls and boys? What does yours look like? Its not sexual in the sense that they are not looking at producing children out of these parts - yet.

choxbox said...

@howdoweknow: *applause*

Artnavy said...

chox- my soul sister -

anon- rest assured such aspersions will not be cast - not on a child or on an adult ( especially without first hand proof) - which is why i wonder if my friend shld even have told me....i don't think she has told anyone else either

justlikethat- i hope X's mom notices it herself and lets X know gently but firmly

howdoweknow- great to hear your take- will let my friend knwo IF the subject comes up again

Mama - Mia said...

oh well! 5 years! i think everyone is reading too much into it!

its like my pal's mum who told her that she shouldnt play card with everyone because the boys' knees might touch hers!

this gives ideas where there might have been none! and i think your friend should not have told anybody till she is sure that there is indeed something wrong. something more than just play! maybe he does that to boys as well!

cheers!

abha

The Seeker said...

He is just a kid, Might be your friend was over-reacting! had it was her kid, who was like that! she would have taken pride/defended him telling the kid learnt from bad source, fine he is after all a 5 yr old, do talk with him n make him understand,, Kids are how we mould them.. its not late, do talk to him sis!!!

the mad momma said...

i'll go with how do we know's answer... and a bit of chox's. although having met a lot of 5 year olds i'd prefer to plead innocent. its a curiosity at worst - not a perversion...

workhard said...

Thats a tender age, he doesnt even know right from wrong. He just needs to be guided


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