Kids seems to have an infinite belief in their mother's abilities.
Every evening, Anush completes listening to whichever song is on in the car and then comes up home with the driver- B uncle.
Yesterday Anushka did not. They were just downstairs. I called out. No response.
I yelled. Rushed down to get her. I was psyched.
I picked her up and admonished her ( but in Tamil so that B uncle would understand) for taking that long. That long would have been 7 minutes instead of the usual 2-3 minutes.
I feel really disgusted with myself .
B uncle has been really nice so far but who knows??
And things like these are responsible for my constant distrusting eye.
I do not allow Anush to go even for walks/ to a nearby shop with anyone other than family.
I tell her no one is to touch/ hug/ kiss her except immediate family and her teacher/ school ayaah. Unless any of us request her to.
Even then I have doubts and I let her know that she has a right to say no even to these people.
She sees me looking lost and she tells me " Don't be sad amma. I will listen to you" I want to explain " Baby it is not about you. You are my doll. It is just the possibility of what might happen that makes me go crazy..." I am not sure how I can shield her, to what extent and for how long. But it gnaws me .
I just hug her instead. And kids think their mothers have all the answers.