September 30, 2008

Moms should know

Kids seems to have an infinite belief in their mother's abilities.

Every evening, Anush completes listening to whichever song is on in the car and then comes up home with the driver- B uncle.

Yesterday Anushka did not. They were just downstairs. I called out. No response.

I yelled. Rushed down to get her. I was psyched.

I picked her up and admonished her ( but in Tamil so that B uncle would understand) for taking that long. That long would have been 7 minutes instead of the usual 2-3 minutes.

I feel really disgusted with myself .
B uncle has been really nice so far but who knows??

And things like these are responsible for my constant distrusting eye.

I do not allow Anush to go even for walks/ to a nearby shop with anyone other than family.
I tell her no one is to touch/ hug/ kiss her except immediate family and her teacher/ school ayaah. Unless any of us request her to.
Even then I have doubts and I let her know that she has a right to say no even to these people.

She sees me looking lost and she tells me " Don't be sad amma. I will listen to you" I want to explain " Baby it is not about you. You are my doll. It is just the possibility of what might happen that makes me go crazy..." I am not sure how I can shield her, to what extent and for how long. But it gnaws me .

I just hug her instead. And kids think their mothers have all the answers.


Arundathi said...

y'know i totally understand. my daughter isn't alone with anyone except immediate family. i don't know about this school teacher/ ayaah hugging her either! better to be safe than sorry. and i'm not even half as paranoid as some people i know!

Anonymous said...

i thought only in US people are so scared which one has to be. Schools esp public schools are horrible in USA. They teach sex education in 3 or 4 th grade and Obama who has no culture wants to introduce sex ed in KG. Many teachers are bad in USA. Hence most of us put only in private schools supposed to be kids. What happened t o India people gre up in 70s and 80s?

Itchingtowrite said...

"And kids think their mothers have all the answers."

BUt they do? don't they?

Itchingtowrite said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Minka said...

Art, I agree with you . That was a horrendous incident. Most times I consider myself an overcautious mother who's going to put a spanner in the works because of my paranoia. But then again ... maybe not . Hope we find the answers - the right ones at the right time.

Artnavy said...

arundathi welcome here- neat blog you have

itchy- i am often lost for words

minka- again a question of faith

i wonder how in the earlier days children were left about with peons servnats and no probs - maybe they were not highlighted
or maybe there were too many kids to give so much attention and

they possibly just looked out for each other

Choxbox said...

its all about mommy (and daddy) instincts - there is something about it for sure. if you don't feel okay about something somewhere, there usually *is* cause for concern. this is what i have learnt.

Shobana said...

As we are getting close to leaving to India for a vacation, this topic scares me mostly..not that I am saying that sexual abuse is predominant in Chennai, but, when there, everyone will want to take the child somewhere with them and of course it is hard to say no (for me) and then these days, it is so darn hard to trust even relatives (as was the case in the link), especially with little children. Am having many a sleepless night, thinking about this.

Artnavy said...

i think we need to be FIRM

it is about having our priorities right

but at the same time to suspect an innocent is so wrong- maybe the best way is to be open about one's worries in general

the mad momma said...

its never easy is it? i walk the same line all the time.