March 24, 2010

Paranoid or Safe?

We had the year end and final review at Anush's school. No surprises. I am blessed.

I only hope that the school in Blore can build on the solid foundation this school has given her and also wish that it is livelier than the rather austere feel of this one.


The teachers and I had a debate on when is it the right time to tell kids about good and bad touch.

They felt we had told Anush too early, compounded by the fact that she is uneasy among strangers.

I say better safe than sorry. What do you have to say?

18 comments:

starry eyed said...

What a coincidence...just did a post on the same topic! Look forward to you thoughts!

I say better safe than sorry, without getting paranoid n scaring the kid :)

Jayashree said...

Delurking after a long time. How did you tell her? Do you have a post on it? I am wondering how to approach the topic with my 4 yr old without scaring her.

Monika said...

i am with u on that, have been thinking abt introducing ojas to it now... these days reading up on it

certainly better safe than sorry but most of us indians dont seem to think so unfortunately

ChoxBox said...

Just say

1. If someone touches you and you don't like it, ask them to stop. If they don't listen go away and tell Mamma/papa/etc. What you feel is important.

2. The parts covered by your swim-suit are private. No one except (list of folks - Mamma, Papa, Grandma, etc) can touch them unless Mamma knows.

These two are simple and easy to remember. Have worked so far.

ChoxBox said...

And LOLing @ austere environment!

Am sure A'll be great here too Art.

Swati said...

Which school is she joining here ?

I agree with you ..be safe than sorry

utbtkids said...

Echo #1 of Chox.

The thing with starting young is, one must repeat to get the point through, because they do not understand. But if you start once they are older, I am paranoid that it might be late.

I started when my older one was couple of months shy of four. Of course the younger one gets the privilege of getting everything early.

Uma said...

Good you brought this topic - I should think about telling Pattu as well. I think it is better to be Safe even if we are bordering on being 'paranoid' ..

artnavy said...

i had told anush I think around the time the first driver whom she adored left suddenly without offering any reasons

fear of kidnapping etc...

i approached it the same way as Chox has mentioned here

i think anush is generally a bit wary of strangers - not to do with good touch bad touch and all

sandhya said...

Oh, no, I don't think you are paranoid at all. These are worrying times and one cannot be too careful. Now it is not just a girl who you worry about, but a boy too. I spoke to A about 'good touch, bad touch' at 5yrs when she started becoming conscious of our amma being around when she changed clothes. In fact, my antennae are up all the time. Take a look at this.
http://sandhyaryal.blogspot.com/2010/03/my-mom-antennae.html

Hip Grandma said...

i feel that a child perceives these things pretty well whether told or not. But these days it is always better to warn them than wait for them to find out for themselves. No you were not wrong in telling her.

Shankari said...

echoing starry here :) What a coincidence. Just this weekend I was telling H that we should start broaching this topic with Na. Just not sure how to go about it though. Chox's inputs will definitely help me! Thanks!!

Sree said...

second you.

How do we know said...

no time is too early.... the youngest child raped in our capital city was 3 months old.. i m not kidding.

sandhya said...

Adding to Choxbox' comment: I think it is also important to impress upon them that these things are not their fault and mamma/pappa etc. will believe them if they come and tell us anything. An afraid child is a secretive child.

artnavy said...

yes very very right sandhya

thanks all- good to know u all agree

GettingThereNow said...

If the kid is old enough to be away from you among strangers (or teachers, classmates etc.), AND old enough to understand what you are telling her, I think sooner is better than later. With you all the way on this.
I haven't talked to my 2.5 year old about it yet but will do as soon as she seems to be able to understand such a conversation.

kbpm said...

i think we know best when our children are ready for such gyaan. it depends so much on the mind-set of the child, and a bunch of other factors. plus, like you say, safe is better than sorry. of course we must re-iterate the point as well as they grow older and process information in different ways....