The Chennai Chronicles - III- Before we turned three

Before we turned three- as in a family of three- there was a time when we almost turned three and stopped short.

Art and Navy were a pretty happy go lucky couple ( they still are!). While they ate out occasionally and saw tonnes of movies ( sometimes 2 the same day) and once 4 the same week . they took at least one or two annual vacations to places with in India.

They saw to it that they closed Navy's education loan and contributed to the conventional 60th birthday celebs of the FIL ( despite the not- so- healthy first job incomes)

So they thought they had it all planned- at least Art did.

Soon, they managed to save up for their Europe trip- in 2002!! This they wanted to do before they got "tied down" with a kid. At the end of the wonderful trip, where they got mistaken for students ( since they were young) and even brother and sister ( possibly because they were busy squabbling and were both tall and lanky with similar hair cuts ), they decided to throw con..m..oops... caution to the winds.

Time for a little Navy or a junior Art they decided.

In no time Art was pregnant and it was a home check that confirmed the news. Art wanted to visit her cousin , a doc in Mumbai for the first check up, during an official tour which was round the corner.

But she eagerly announced it to all she knew and all who cared and those who did not as well. Everyone in the family was delighted- what a well planned couple said work friends. Three years post wedding was just right.

Art went on tour to Mumbai as planned but the first official doctor's check confirmed that the pregnancy was not to be. Art discovered that this baby was gone even before he came. She was shattered. Navy, who had been on tour as well, joined her from Delhi.

After a 'clean up', Art and Navy returned to Chennai. Art went back to work after just a day's leave hoping it would help her forget! She acted very stoic at work but broke down in the confines of the loo at work- every now and then . Art just could just not come to terms with it.

Navy was broken too but was more concerned about getting Art out of her depression. So Navy set themselves a new task- to identify their own flat in Chennai. New beginnings so to speak.

Any one who knows Art knows that 'projects' turn her on and she immersed herself into this one.
In mid 2003, Artnavy moved into Varnam. Since the house had to be done up, wood work coordinated, loan commitments were high, etc, Art and Navy postponed plans of a child for a while more.

Art seemed happy- no - she was happy. But the related anxiety of the episode lurked on and self doubt compounded it, till she conceived Anushka a year or so later.

Now when Art looks back, she sees a shaken and insecure young woman - trying to put on a brave face. When she does not feel very generous with herself, she sees a control freak having to face a situation where her plans have gone haywire . . .

I have never written about this at length on this blog. But this was an important turning point in my times in Chennai . Hence wrote it. Or maybe it is remote enough for me to handle it now.