March 04, 2010

The Chennai Chronicles - III- Before we turned three

Before we turned three- as in a family of three- there was a time when we almost turned three and stopped short.

Art and Navy were a pretty happy go lucky couple ( they still are!). While they ate out occasionally and saw tonnes of movies ( sometimes 2 the same day) and once 4 the same week . they took at least one or two annual vacations to places with in India.

They saw to it that they closed Navy's education loan and contributed to the conventional 60th birthday celebs of the FIL ( despite the not- so- healthy first job incomes)

So they thought they had it all planned- at least Art did.

Soon, they managed to save up for their Europe trip- in 2002!! This they wanted to do before they got "tied down" with a kid. At the end of the wonderful trip, where they got mistaken for students ( since they were young) and even brother and sister ( possibly because they were busy squabbling and were both tall and lanky with similar hair cuts ), they decided to throw con..m..oops... caution to the winds.

Time for a little Navy or a junior Art they decided.

In no time Art was pregnant and it was a home check that confirmed the news. Art wanted to visit her cousin , a doc in Mumbai for the first check up, during an official tour which was round the corner.

But she eagerly announced it to all she knew and all who cared and those who did not as well. Everyone in the family was delighted- what a well planned couple said work friends. Three years post wedding was just right.

Art went on tour to Mumbai as planned but the first official doctor's check confirmed that the pregnancy was not to be. Art discovered that this baby was gone even before he came. She was shattered. Navy, who had been on tour as well, joined her from Delhi.

After a 'clean up', Art and Navy returned to Chennai. Art went back to work after just a day's leave hoping it would help her forget! She acted very stoic at work but broke down in the confines of the loo at work- every now and then . Art just could just not come to terms with it.

Navy was broken too but was more concerned about getting Art out of her depression. So Navy set themselves a new task- to identify their own flat in Chennai. New beginnings so to speak.

Any one who knows Art knows that 'projects' turn her on and she immersed herself into this one.
In mid 2003, Artnavy moved into Varnam. Since the house had to be done up, wood work coordinated, loan commitments were high, etc, Art and Navy postponed plans of a child for a while more.

Art seemed happy- no - she was happy. But the related anxiety of the episode lurked on and self doubt compounded it, till she conceived Anushka a year or so later.

Now when Art looks back, she sees a shaken and insecure young woman - trying to put on a brave face. When she does not feel very generous with herself, she sees a control freak having to face a situation where her plans have gone haywire . . .

I have never written about this at length on this blog. But this was an important turning point in my times in Chennai . Hence wrote it. Or maybe it is remote enough for me to handle it now.

22 comments:

apu said...

Hmm. That has to be one of the most personal and sad posts you've ever written. Hugs.

artnavy said...

u know apu

i took the G meeting in Mumbai the next day itself...looking back I am proud of myself for having been professional in all of that....

The Kid said...

Very well written. You should write your biography some day :)

VJ said...

Didn't see your emotional side till today. Glad it is a happily ever after ending.

Just Like That said...

a rare post from you. hugs. Alls well that ends well.

How do we know said...

its such a coincidence... i was thinking along similar lines this week... one never forgets the children one loses(no matter how insane that sounds)..and ur last line is spot on.. maybe someday, its remote enough to be faced..

Sri said...

As they say-Whatever happens,it happens for the best..Very beautiful post..You are really an inspiration,Art!:)

starry eyed said...

Hugs to you...it's brave of you to write about it and so helpful to others who think they shouldn't grieve :(

That picture of you n Navy in Europe is so endearing. Waiting to meet you guys :)

artnavy said...

it WAS a rather off beat post given my usual style huh?

thanks for being there now...

Niv said...

the chennai chronicles is very interesting indeed!

The Print Lover said...

Very well written Art. Hugs.
Looking fwd to Anush's birth announcement next :)

Monika said...

every one above has said what was to be said I will just pass the hugs :)

PS: when are u shifting?

Timepass said...

have faced a similar loss..so can understand it..

Anonymous said...

Hi Art,

Very nice reading...interesting

Please don't stop the Chennai Chronicles. Write more :)

Sujatha Ramesh

Cantaloupes.Amma (CA) said...

That was an interesting series indeed !

So you are moving to Bengaluru? Good luck with the move ... here is wishing you the very best. Hope you create many many pleasant memories during your stay in Bengaluru.

Uma said...

I heard it from you before I read this... it takes a lot of courage to face this and go on...
The chronicles are sweet... keep them going...

Anonymous said...

have faced a similar loss..so can understand it..... Happy that u r blessed with two little angels...(I too have two kutty angels.. :-) )

Itchingtowrite said...

hugs......

Poppy said...

Hugs Art.
You've never written something so personal before so I hope that you are truly over this to be able to mention it at all.

It must have been a difficult time and am so happy that you have your two princesses with you now.

Looking forward to your arrival in Bangalore!

artnavy said...

hey all
thanks again. No one who knew me then expect my folks and navy would have guessed how upset i was ...

the mad momma said...

wow. i am shaken by the honesty of your post. to say nothing of it being so unexpected to find something like this on your blog. can i send you a big virtual hug? you just made it easier for some woman out there to talk about it and get it out of her system.

lots of love
ps: did I mention how beautiful the header is...

artnavy said...

hey MM
thanks a lot.. and yes it is rather off beat is it not.