January 24, 2012

Since when did obedience become the epitome of good parenting? This article was sent over by a long time visitor to this blog. Asking for my thoughts.

I realise I do not give parenting much thought. It is what I do. Like breathing. Sometimes like what an Art of Living session does to your breathing, this article made me think about my parenting style.

Overall I think my prime concern while disciplining is the health and happiness of my kids. And that they do not cause anyone else harm. Not what others will think of them if they misbehave.

Intentions are important. For instance, if they drop something accidentally, we do not reprimand but might ask them to help clean up with us. When the act is done intentionally, the response is certainly different.

The child's basic personality also takes over irrespective of the upbringing, better to work around her style than expecting her to understand and follow you / sibling.

While we treat them right and reason out to them as we would to an adult, with firm politeness, I would be most upset if they began to behave like mini adults. But I would also not like them to be brats either.

In art, there is a school of thought - let the child explore..... do not confine them to boundaries. Say no to colouring within lines. But someone has to show how techniques can be used, how colours can be mixed, what are the possibilities.....

Similarly explore but without causing harm even in behaviour. Hence the need for discipline. Disciplining style of course matters and quantum as well.

A wise lady once told me choose the fights- don't say no to everything you disagree on. And any no has to be followed by an explanation. I have sometimes yelled" DON'T SHOUT!!" only to wonder what kind of example am I setting.

Being reasonable at any age is not easy if what you WANT is different from what is EXPECTED of you.

And finally follow no one else's rules on parenting, it is just what works for you as a parent and what helps your child.

6 comments:

R's Mom said...

I have sometimes yelled" DON'T SHOUT!!" only to wonder what kind of example am I setting.
- I didnt realise it till I read it here, that I do it as well...thanks for writing that!

I agree to it when you say that disciplining is for the health and happiness of my kids - so so agree to it

VJ said...

Awesome post Art !

Dhanashri said...

Hi!

Nice post ... i enjoy all of them really...they r short and sweet... In fact i have become a regular. Also thanks for all the info - for kids which i get from ur blog.
Dhanashri

The Visitor said...

Interesting analogy between parenting and breathing. Trusting one's instincts is probably the way to go about it.

Today parenting has apparently become complex, weighing heavily on parents' minds.

I agree with your perspective, it is just what works for you as a parent and what helps your child.

Do what you feel is best.

Thanks Arty. :)

MindfulMeanderer said...

well said art :)

Cantaloupes.Amma (CA) said...

My ped always told me "Chose your battles with your child" ... its very hard to follow ... but I try