Trial run

I have not left Aditi for longer than an hour since her birth, usually when she is asleep. We do not have a nanny. So I handle her myself almost all the time. My mother chips in when necessary, when Anush and Aditi are being difficult/ ill at the same time or when i have been dead tired.

The last two weeks, I have been emboldened by my attempts to stay away from Aditi for longer intervals....yesterday I took Anushka to the beach and had a great time... She is back to enjoying the waves and the water and took all the rides possible two times!! What we missed were the much awaited Tree of Life sand sculptures.... we bumped into a few others who were also disappointed/ disgusted by the festival guys not informing a cancellation or whatever it was...I digress....

I need to return to work shortly. I am, however, not sure how Aditi and I will cope for an entire day. I plan to ease into the routine slowly.

Aditi's food seems managable though challenging- especially extracting at office. Aditi seems ok with being spoon fed extracted milk. This is critical since I did not use a bottle for Anush and do not wish to use one this time either.

And my still clingy Anushka, though she shows signs of "weaning" has got used to having me around 24 *7.

While I wish to appoint a nanny, when I am at work, my mother is not in favour. Her comfort is important to me when I am away...she says she will extend the top help maids timing if required....

I am sure we all will rise to the ocassion. Anyway I am clear that if things do not work out I will again extend my leave. After all I need to do full justice at office when i get back. Can't be torn and do well anywhere.