Only children are often presumed to be lonely and lost. Deprived even. My father is a single child. If you have not already guessed it- I am a single child. Why don't you hear it from a horse's mouth.....
MYTHS- 1,2,3- I speak from experience:
A single child must be so lonely-I have never been lonely.And I would not have problems admitting it if I were so. I had a lot of hobbies and ended up being more adventurous and outgoing. I also feel I was closer to my parents and was more helpful and self sufficient than most other kids my age.
I must admit I have a very romanticised view of siblings, led by Hindi movies and wondered how it would have been to have a very protective older brother.
A single child is not as fit or intelligent as those with siblings. Rohini's disclaimer helps me cope with this statement. And if studies are to be believed then it is single children who are more academically brilliant. I do not subscribe to either theory.
Where children with siblings score, if clever, are in their negotiation skills- since they must always be healthily competitive- be it affection, attention or material stuff that they are after.
Sibling share your history- But not necessary that she/he shares your life with you. I have seen many siblings who hardly keep in touch. My friends have been more than a pillar of strength for me. And yes, some history is better left unshared.
Single children lose their childhood and grow up faster than others. One could also argue that if you have siblings you start taking responsibility for the younger one(s) and therefore lose your childhood faster.
Single children, if well brought up, are adaptable and understanding. I was so proud to be seen as a role model by so many of my friends' moms. I never considered my friends immature, they were just different and I loved that about them and having that kind of fun as well. Also parents of a single child, possibly retain their youth longer, as they try their best to not let us lose our childhood too soon.(Almost all my friends exclaim that my parents come across as so cool and young)
Being intelligent, responsible, acting your age, being secure- it comes from your genes, the environ at home and your exposure. Irrespective of whether you have siblings or not you may end up a dud or a stud.
AS A PARENT
I do not think it is necessary for a child to have a sibling. It is not in the least bit selfish of the parents. I am NOT saying you MUST have only one kid. Have as many as you think you want to and if the number happens to be one or zero, then just as well.
Do not have a second child for the sake of your first kid. You maybe in for disappointment if they do not take to each other or at a later stage do not get along.
Do not have a second child just because your first was a girl and you want a son to continue the "family name" . You may have another gem of a girl whom you resent for no fault of hers
In India, having a second child is made to seem almost mandatory-like having to get married. It is your decision. Go ahead and choose. Have a baby because you want to. Because you know you have enough love to give him/ her.Remember, none of those who advice you to have a baby( first or second) are really involved in bringing them up. So do what you think you can handle. That is what will suit you and your baby.
And if you do not believe horses and prefer to trust research then please read thisHaving said all the above, rather more vehemently than my usual style, we have carefully preserved Anush's crib, play pen, kangaroo punch, some good infant clothes even.....