February 20, 2007

My First Night

Was filled with performance anxiety.

Would I live up to expectations?
Could I refuse ?
What if I failed?
Would I be judged?
Would it be painful?
Would the equations change forever?
How to admit it was my first time- would he laugh or would he understand?

Many had done it before me, a lot will do it after me. It was common enough. A part of life. And Amma had told me not to worry. My father (who is my rock) the more practical one had encouraged me to take the plunge, giving me the man's perspective !

Why was I being so diffident, so difficult on myself.

You know what? I did well. And I did it twice- so no fluke there. And I intend to do it again if required.

Night outs from Anushka - done it twice and I did not brood ( at least not too much). It was not too painful once I got immersed in work and she did not forget me.

If anything the equation has got stronger. And no no none laughed, not anyone in my family or at work- they distracted me enough not be worried and Amma's presence at home with Anush, was of course the most reassuring thing.

21 comments:

Gabdu's Mommy said...

You got me there !! He he ! Good post:)

itchingtowrite said...

having mom is really so reassuring...i still feel nervous abt the night outs!

artnavy said...

a few months back i would have never thought i would be speaking in this vein about this subject

not bad huh?

apu said...

You go girl ! (i see the blog is getting naughty !!)

The Mad Momma said...

awww..its always hard to leave baby for the first time.. but now that you have taken the plunge i am sure you will be alright...

artnavy said...

thanks there

hope u had some fun reading this post

Has to be me said...

Hey I left my baby girl fr 4 nites consecutively when she was around 10mths old. Surprisingly I didnt have a prob (neither did she)....I was actually glad that I cud sleep thru the nite!!! heee heeee!!!

Nee said...

Awesome - am glad mommy and baby survived the separation!

Orchid said...

oooh Art!!...for a minute you had me thinking that you were testing waters in forbidden territory..afterall you are "the modern urban Indian woman" you know...
but...staying away (overnight)from the li'l one is hard and is an accomplishment in itself

Anusha Parthasarathy said...

Nice one Art:)

Its a naughty post :)

A Little Light said...

Good one :-)
i guess your baby is starting to learn what hard work,night outs are all about!

The Kid said...

he he! nice one.

but you know, you always disappoint me. You always fall back and choose to be a nice girl. too bad :p

mommyof2 said...

lol! I can' decide if you got the dirty mind or us;-)enjoy ur nights (out;-)

mommyof2 said...

lol! I can' decide if you got the dirty mind or us;-)enjoy ur nights (out;-)

starry nights said...

It is good to take some time for yourself.And mom was there so it was ok.Enjoy your nights out.

artnavy said...

momof2, nee, nee, anusha, little light, orchid, hastobeme- LOL and yes it felt like a milestone for myself

one of the most testing conflicts ( at leats for me) being a working mother who was a Jet platinum , downgraded to blue and now back in the running for gold
BUT do not want to end up last in the other more personal race to be a supermom


kid- sorry to disappoint u finally but at leats I had you going for a while huh?

theanalogkid said...

this post reminded me of this post of yours. and looks like you are mastering the art. kudos. :p

Noodlehead said...

gee, had me thinking of something quite different :-)) congratulations on successfully completing this milestone!

artnavy said...

thanks analog for remembering- but did u guess at teh start itself :-(

noodle- that was the idea

Patti said...

Hahah...good one..knew it had to be abt staying away from Anushka...

Hip Grandma said...

very naughty of you.i almost did not read it thinking that it was young people's stuff.so anush managed quite well didn't she?smart girl